from Samer's cousin Gez with love

flowers to Samer from Kristie

with love Usama and Kristie

from Samer's mom, as she remembers him with love

We love you dear brother. We are never without you.

miss you brother- love Usama

I remember this time Samer in Abu-Dhabi in 1985. You and I were really into breakdancing. You had same crazy skills and I remember you loved that movie Breakin'. So much has happened since you left us. Our family is growing and we are having babies. I moved from Chicago but I still hold you inside my heart. I believe you are with us wherever we go.
I miss you so much it hurts sometimes. But I want you to know that we celebrate your life and we feel you with us, always.
Love your big brother, Usama

pics from Samer's sister Sama with love

The last cry (from Samer's mom)

(from Samer's mom)

Our flower on your grave will keep you happy and beautiful until we all can come again and visit your grave. Our sweet boy.

(art from Samer's mom)

The beautiful heart of Samer from his mom. Five years, sweet son.

Freedom (art from Samer's mom)

Samer has left the darkness in this earth behind him. He is landing in weightless white heaven. From his to mother to his five years of freedom.

Samer playing his guitar

Samer at his apartment, Chicago 2005

Samer we still miss you

From Samer's Father

حبيبي
لم هذا الحزن من حقك تحن ومن حقي ادفع عنك الحزن انا احبك بكل ما املك كنت ولا ازال وسابى للابد انت الحبيب الغالي الذي كحل ايامي وجعلها باجمل حله اقف اليوم لاراك تذبل حيانتا بقدر الله الذي لا يد ك انت به ورود كثيره تذبل من دون ان يقطفها احد مجرد الضروف المحيطه غير ملائمه هذا ليس سببه الفلاح ومن غير الممكن نقطع الحديقه لاجل هذه الورده الجميلة نبقى نذكر اجمل ورده ونتذكرها باجمل صوره ولا نلوم احد او انفسنا بذلك قدرها ان تكون وتبقى ذكرى جميلة ونجعلها عبره لنا لاان نلوم انفسنا بذنب لم نقترفه انت لم تقصر يوما ابدا تذكر من ذهبنا جميعنا للسجن ولم يدخلونا باليوم الاول وانتظرنا الى اليوم التالي واشياء كثيره حدثت امامي تدل على عدم تقصيرك ابدا لم تريد ان تكون انت الملام دائما انا قلبي يقطر دما من اراك انت تذبل امامي بسرعه يوما بعد يوم ولا تفكر ابدا ان لك حياتك يجب ان تكون اقوى من هكذا ان لك وردتين اخرتين يجب ان ترعاها انت بيدك وتجعلهم يقفون على ارجلهم التي يستمدوها منك انت مثلهم الاعلى ومثالهم الجميل ايام وليالي كثيره امامنا حبيبي كي نرى منهم ونعوض ما فقدناه انت تقول انا ارى بنمير صوره سامر طيب قل الحمد لله والشكر عوضني الله عز وجل بسامر ولو بصوره نمير الوكيح ابو لسان ارجوك حميد كافي الذي جعلك تكبر واخذ منك سنين كان الاجدر بها ان تكون للاحياء رحم الله الحبيب دائما سامرنا الغالي الذي منعنا حزنك ان نعبر عن حزننا

ارجوك دع حياتك الباقيه لك ولنا نحن نحبك وانت كل حياتنا نحن الثلاثه ليس لدينا احد في هذه الحياه الغامضه المجهوله دعنا نضع لها حروف جميله نرسم مستقبل وردتينا نادرنا ونميرنا انهما لا يزالان صغار جدا جدا وامامنا الكثير الكثير حبيبي
نحبك من كل اعماقنا
احبك اليوم وغدا وكل حياتي هي ملك لك ولاولادنا
احبك

Happy Birthday Samer

You would have been 30 years old dear brother. Rest in peace.
Love
Usama

from Wisam, Samer's younger brother

Samer it's been a while since anybody has posted to this blog. I'm thinking it's lonely. I wonder how hanging out with Jiddu is and our other fallen Muslim and Pagan brothers are. They must like your tattoos.

I miss you a lot. I think you would have been proud with how successful I was with my music. It's not over. I'll make you proud again. My life is rough now and I am very sick but I am going to get better I know it.

I am apologize for not staying in touch with you more. This was very hard for me in a way that might be difficult to understand.

Mom thinks about you every second of everyday and you are her life.

I just want you to know I and the rest of our whole huge family loves you.

We still miss you

From Samer's Mother

Habibi Samer,

Maybe by now you are wondering why your Mom has not spoken about her feelings on this blog yet…maybe because by doing so, it means that I have accepted you are gone, and I am not ready, nor will I ever be ready to believe you are gone. But with your memorial day coming on the 27th and because I cannot be there in your beautiful home…I wanted to write these words to be a part of this memorial.

I don’t know from where to start and where to end…Samer you lived life fully the way you wanted to live. I do respect the way you wanted to live, and I love you no matter what way you lived. I still love you. There are so many times through your short life that you were physically away from me, but never far from my heart, and now again you are physically far away, but you continue to live inside my heart. I never let go of you before and I cannot let go of you today, or tomorrow. I loved everything about you. I love the artistic part of you, your charm, your goodness as a son, your love for family, the way you lived proud as an Arab, your belief in Allah and the way you loved your Sarah.

Since I brought Sarah’s name up, I believe she was the angel in your life. She gave you the happiness and the love you deserve. I watched how you lived together as we prepared for your wedding…you were like little love-birds and nothing could make a mother’s heart more pleased. I’m happy that you had that experience.

Sarah…I cannot thank you enough for being a wonderful wife and friend (the closest person) to Samer in the good and bad times for him. You shared with him the last few years of his life, and I’m happy he shared those ups and downs with you. If Samer ever had the choice how he would leave this earth, I think he would have chosen to die between your hands as he did. He was blessed to leave his life with his wife that he loved so much. Sarah, to me, you were Samer’s angel.

Samer, I know you always cared about your good looks, your hair and skin. I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked to me in the last moments I saw you before they buried you. I know I’m your Mom, and I love the way you look, but I wanted you to know that I will remember your beauty when I last saw you, just as the way I remembered how beautifl you were on the day you were born. You left this earth as beautiful as the day as you came us. You looked at peace.

Well, habibi Samer, I’m not saying goodbye, but I’m just saying rest in peace. You will be with me until I see you again.

Love,
Mama

From Samer's Sister, Sama

I loved planning Samer's wedding with him. We'd talk for two hours each night for months, laboring over details, dreaming about things we could never accomplish...basically being so excited about love and family. Samer was my little brother, born four years after me and I was terribly jealous when he was born (stealing my baby spot). But I remember the very first moment I saw him (my mother made me wash my hands) and I creeped over the side of the crib to look at him. I taught him how to read, tie his shoes, count to ten, about Duran Duran. He taught me about much more important things as we grew up...he loved being an Arab as much as I did. He claimed Palestine as much as I did. He loved Allah and Fairuz, photography, family, memories...we shared a room when we were children, in Iraq and in Iowa. He was wonderful with my son Mahmood. I'm sad they won't know their uncle Samer. I will miss him forever...

Memorial for Samer May 27th, Saturday @ 2pm

On May 27th, a Saturday, I will be holding a memorial for Samer at our apartment (insha-allah). My door will be open all day so that anyone that would like to attend and pay their respects can do so whenever schedules permit. It will begin around 2pm and go on all day. For those who haven't been to our house, its on the corner of Chicago and Ashland and I'll leave a sign on the door. Please call to let me know if you're going to attend at 312-208-7853. Also, there is no doorbell so if the door is locked you can use that same phone number to let me know you're downstairs. There will be food but feel free to bring something if you'd like or bringing a bottle of wine or something would be great. I have some recordings of Samer's music I'd like to play and his brother Usama is making a video for the event. If you know of anyone else that would like to be there, please give them the information or forward this message to them. I look forward to seeing everyone and hope you're all happy and well.
Sarah Alshaibi

If you need an exact address you can also call Usama at 312-927-5692 or Sarah at 312-208-7853.

Usama's video on Samer will play at 5pm and 7pm.

Thank you.