From Samer's Mother

Habibi Samer,

Maybe by now you are wondering why your Mom has not spoken about her feelings on this blog yet…maybe because by doing so, it means that I have accepted you are gone, and I am not ready, nor will I ever be ready to believe you are gone. But with your memorial day coming on the 27th and because I cannot be there in your beautiful home…I wanted to write these words to be a part of this memorial.

I don’t know from where to start and where to end…Samer you lived life fully the way you wanted to live. I do respect the way you wanted to live, and I love you no matter what way you lived. I still love you. There are so many times through your short life that you were physically away from me, but never far from my heart, and now again you are physically far away, but you continue to live inside my heart. I never let go of you before and I cannot let go of you today, or tomorrow. I loved everything about you. I love the artistic part of you, your charm, your goodness as a son, your love for family, the way you lived proud as an Arab, your belief in Allah and the way you loved your Sarah.

Since I brought Sarah’s name up, I believe she was the angel in your life. She gave you the happiness and the love you deserve. I watched how you lived together as we prepared for your wedding…you were like little love-birds and nothing could make a mother’s heart more pleased. I’m happy that you had that experience.

Sarah…I cannot thank you enough for being a wonderful wife and friend (the closest person) to Samer in the good and bad times for him. You shared with him the last few years of his life, and I’m happy he shared those ups and downs with you. If Samer ever had the choice how he would leave this earth, I think he would have chosen to die between your hands as he did. He was blessed to leave his life with his wife that he loved so much. Sarah, to me, you were Samer’s angel.

Samer, I know you always cared about your good looks, your hair and skin. I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked to me in the last moments I saw you before they buried you. I know I’m your Mom, and I love the way you look, but I wanted you to know that I will remember your beauty when I last saw you, just as the way I remembered how beautifl you were on the day you were born. You left this earth as beautiful as the day as you came us. You looked at peace.

Well, habibi Samer, I’m not saying goodbye, but I’m just saying rest in peace. You will be with me until I see you again.

Love,
Mama